Real Answers from WoWoWee Contestants...

1. Q: “Ano sa Tagalog ang teeth?”

A: “Utong!”

2. Q: “Kung ang light ay ilaw, ano naman ang lightning?”

A: “Umiilaw!”

3. Q: “Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao?

A: “Humanitarian?”

4. Q: “Sina Michael at Raphael ay mga.”

A: “Ninja?”

5. Q: Ano ang kasunod ng kidlat?

A: “Sunog!”

6. Q: “Magbigay ng sikat na Willie.”

A: “Willie da pooh!”

7. Q: “Ang mga Hindu ay galing sa aling bansa?”

A: “Hindunesia?”

8. Q: “Anong hayop si King Kong?”

A: “Pagong!”

9. Q: “Magbigay ng mabahong pagkain.”

A: “Tae!”

10. Q: “Saang bansa matatagpuan ang mga Canadians?”

A: “Canadia!”

11. Q: “Kumpletuhin – Little Red.”

A: “Ribbon!”

12 Q: “Ano ang tinatanggal sa itlog bago ito kainin?”

A: “Buhok?”

13. Q: “Magbigay ng pagkain na dumidikit sa ngipin.”

A: “Tinga!”

14. Q: “Anong oras kadalasang pinapatay ang TV?”

A: “Pag balita?”

15. Q: “Ano ang tawag mo sa anak ng taong grasa?”

A: “Baby oil?”

16. Q: “Saan karaniwang ginagawa ang mga sweets na ginagamit sa halu-halo?”

A: “Sweetserland?”

17. Q: “Sinong higanteng G ang tinalo ni David?”

A: “Godzilla?”

18. Q: “Ano ang mas malaki, itlog ng ibon o sanggol ng tao?”

A: “Itlog ng tao!”

19. Q: “Anong S ang tawag sa duktor nag nago-opera?”

A: “Sadista?”

20. Q: “Blank is the best policy.”

A: “Ice tea?”

22. Q: “Saan binaril si Jose Rizal?”

A: “Sa likod!”

23. Q: “Fill in the blanks – Beauty is in the eye of the ____.”

A: “Tiger?”

24. Q: “Ano ang kinakain ng monkey-eating eagle?”

A: “Saging!”

25. Q: “Kung ang suka ay vinegar, ano naman ang Inggles ng toyo?”

A: “Baliw!”

26. Q: “Anong tawag mo sa kapatid ng nanay mo?”

A: “Kamag-anak!”

27. Q: “Saan nakukuha ang sakit na AIDS?”

A: “Sa motel?”

28. Q: “Kung ang H2O ay water, ano naman ang CO2?”

A: “Cold water!”

29. Q: “Sinong cartoon charcater ang sumisigaw ng yabba dabba doo?”

A: “Si scooby dooby doo?”

30. Q: “Heto na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka.”

A: “Operadang bakla?”

31. Q: “Ilan ang bituin sa American flag?”

A: “Madami!”

32. Q: “Ano ang tawag mo sa taong isa lang ang mata?”

A: “Abnormal!”

Hahahaha! enjoy ka no

If you are looking into buying a car you might want to consider the following:

* Can I afford it?
    
    Set a budget let say 20, 30 or even 40k AUD..., It is best that you know what you really can afford, sit down recompute your personal budget. If you plan to take a loan, calculate the amount of what repayments you can afford. Here's a tool to help you. Car loan calculator. If your wondering if you will be approved for financing (Specially if just arrived), I tell you, all the car dealers and lenders in Australia are craving for customers... You will be approved guaranteed as long as you have work, just bring in the documents that they need (passport, payslip, proof of address)
    
    Do you know how to maintain your own car? If not then buy a brandnew car, it will ease your worries for at maybe at least 5 yrs, since most of the mechanical breakdown occurs after 5 years. If you chance upon a lemon car, you will be frustrated, stressed and always worried that your car would breakdown anytime. It is more expensive to maintain a problematic car, it will ruin your time and wallet.
    
* What car should I buy?
    If you have a family, buy something that would fit your family not too big not too small, don't buy a 7 seater car if you only have 1-2 kids.
        "Eh papano kung dumating yung mga kamag-anak ko ende na kami kasya, well edi mag-rent ka ng van or a bus, cguro naman ende mag-stay sau ang relative mo forever dba, malamang a few days lang sila, not unless trip mo maging chauffeur palagi at maging tagahatid ng mga relatives, kaibigan or kapitbahay. Remember the bigger the car the harder to maintain at syempre mahal sa petrol lalo na sa malaking kotse at saka para kanga tanga ang laki-laki ng kotse mo papasok ka lng sa trabaho, the smaller the car the better, economical, easier to drive and easier to maintain.
        
    If this is your first car, buy something that you would like don't focus too much on the cost, wag kang magtipid matagal mong papakinabangan ang kotseng ito. Kung ikaw ang lalake ikaw ang pipili ng kotse para sa pamilya, dahil usually sa isang typical na bahay, lalake ang bahala sa car maintenance. Kung pati ba naman ang pagpili ng kotse misis mo pa din ang magdedesisyon eh malamang wala ka na nadesisyunan sa bahay. Ende ka naman siguro bibili ng sports car, cyempre pipili ka din ng reasonable, decent looking at reliable na kotse, pero be sure pag binili mo gusto mo talaga, kahit na medyo mahal, basta masarap ang feeling mo dahil gusto mo ang kotse. Tandaan wag ka masyado magtipid, makakapiling mo ang kotse sa matagal na panahon.
    
    Para naman sa single, as I have said above buy something realiable, nakakahiya naman sa date mo kung pagtutulakin mo lang siya. At wag mo masyado lagyan ng bling na kung ano-anong ilaw, wag mo gawing parang jeep ang kotse mo, jologs ang dating mo parekoy. Wag mo din lagyan ng sobrang ingay na sounds unless gusto mo talagang magyabang, magpapansin at mag-ingay, tapos ang tugtog mo ende mo din maintindihan, ingat ka din dahil kung masyado maingay ende mo na maririnig ang busina ng ibang kotse, besides bawal ang sobrang ingay dito pag natsambahan ka ng hiway police. Kung babae ka naman, wag ka naman OA sa kolorete at stuff toy sa loob ng kotse, the more clutter you have, the more wieght you put into your car.  Also avoid putting sticker like transformers, disney, website at kung ano-ano pa, sisirain nya ang pintura mo (ipagtanong mo sa mga experts kung ayaw mo maniwala sa akin) At saka ende nman maganda ang kotse na puro sticker ende ka naman kasali sa karera at wala ka namang sponsor. Be practical, something simple and decent always looks good. Pero kung jologs ka nga edi magkaiba tayo ng gusto.
            
    Set your criteria: Size, Brand, Style, Colour, Power etc.... then finalize a list maybe 2-3 car models, at least you narrow your target and avoids too much confusion. Don't ever go to a car dealer without having this list, you would end-up buying the car that the salesman pushes out to his inventory. Be in control, stick to you criteria. "Most likely if your a pinoy you would end up having an SUV, ewan ko ba kung bakit ang hilig ng asian sa mga SUV type cars. Just look on the streets most of the asians drive SUV's and UTE for aussies or sedan's. Ang hilig ng asian sa matataas na kotse, siguro dahil pandak tayo, hehehe."
    
*How will i know if the car that I'm buying is not a lemon?
    You wont, unfortunately it's really hard find out unless you know your way through cars. It is advisable to bring in a professional, a mechanic (pay for a mechanic to do it for you) Or tell the owner if this is a used car, that you will have it for inspection and you will pay for it. But of course you will only do this if you really like the car, don't waste your time and the owners time going through this process. Don't ask for the help of a friend, eh pareho lang kayo ende marunong sa kotse, ende porket may kotse sya expert na sya sa kotse, ende porket marunong magbukas ng boot at hood eh magaling na sa makina, kadalasan nga ang opinion ng isang kaibigan palpak sa mga bagay na ganito, kaya kumuha ka ng nga expert. A good analogy would be being sick, would you ask an opinion of a doctor or a friend?
    
In the end, it is your money and your car good luck, It's just my humble opinion...

Pinoy Survival Guide Downunder

Congratulations, you made at last!!

But the challenge is just beginning kaibigan. I'm making this blog as a guide to those people who recently arrived and for those people who still don't know what to do in AU, since they watch TFC or PinoyTV instead of local channels.

Do the following:
1. Get your drivers license (student permit is good enough) Why? Because every single institution in AU asks for you drivers license as a valid ID, kahit na bibili ka lang ng prepaid SIM card, kukuha ka na package sa Post etc...

Believe me you need this, besides you need to drive in AU unless titira ka sa condo sa CBD.

2. Open a bank account: Syempre nman, pano ka sasahod, ende na uso ang cash sa loob ng maliit na brown envelop. At isa rin identification ito if you don't have a drivers license.

3. Get your medicare card: Para ito sa mga PR Visa holders, I guess this comes with the letter from immigration that you received. Anyway simply dropby to you nearest Medicare branch and fill-up the forms. For 457, Student Visa holders sorry you don't have these privilege yet your option is to get a private health insurance.

4. Logistics: Kahit saan lugar ka mapadpad cyempre alalamin mo kung saan ang Grocery or sari-sari store, Bokita (Chemist ang tawag nila dito), gasoline station (Petrol station ang tawag dito) palengke or wet market for your fish, vegies and other stuff that you dont usually see on grocery stores. Try to find most of them online almost everything is listed online nowadays.

Btw here in OZ merong milkbar (equivalent sa sari-sari store sa Pinas) pero sa mga bagong suburb may mga Coles, Safeway or IGA groceries, may gamot din cla.

5. Cheap china products: I'm sure nagtitipid ka dahil baka maubos agad ang baon mo, so you need to find those items na mas mura, you can find most of them like plastic wares, household items like divisoria items on $2 dollar shops mostly run by vietnamese/chinese traders, usually you can find one in your suburb.

6. Schools: Every suburb here has one, they are usually close to bus routes and if your lucky you might be able to find one very close to where you live. There are 3 types of schools here, public, catholic and grammar schools (private). Public is free, catholic schools range from $600-1200 per year and grammar school would set yo back $5-8k /yr, these fees are for Primary to HS only. University is $7-9K depending on the course and school, they have HECS program here much like of a study now pay later but you have to be an Aussie first. If you have a non Aussie passport then your not eligible.

7. Childcare: If both parents really need to work, then you have this option. We have these table here for your reference:

Source: https://www.careforkids.com.au/articlesv2/article.asp?ID=77

Mabigat pero at least pwede mo iwan ang baby mo sa childcare. Btw you need to be on time hanggang 6PM lng usually ang childcare, after that you will have to pay hefty penalties.

Can you leave the kids at home on their own? NO!! unless they are 18 and above...
Source: https://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/home_alone_-_cyh.html

8: Emergency numbers: Fire, health and safety call 000 (triple zero) ito ang equivalent ng 911 sa US.

9. Health concerns: See your local GP (General Practicioner) or if it's the middle of the night and you need an immediate medical advise call 1300 60 60 24 this is 24/7 service. Madami ang ende nakaka-alam nito kahit mga aussie ende nila alam kung minsan.
Source: https://www.health.vic.gov.au/nurseoncall/about.htm

10. Rent: Usually pag dating mo you need a place to stay minsan nakikitira ka muna sa kaibigan, relatives or even nkilala mo lng sa internet, it is advisable to find a rental place on your own. Mahirap maghanap pero you have to do it otherwise makikisama palagi ka sa may-ari ng bahay at tatanaw ka ng utang na loob habangbuhay.

First step, find the right suburb for you, ask around wag ka na magtanong sa mga puti, usually ayaw nila ksama ang mga migrants, kaya sasabihin sau pangit sa mga suburb na yan etc... Umiwas ka sa mga arabo, itim at mga puti from eastern europe, takaw away sila kung akala mo racist ako edi cge sumama ka sa knila. Kung ako ang tatanungin dun sumama ka sa mga kapwa mo asian at least mas kilala mo ang ugali nila, ang mga nakakausap kong pinoy noon ayaw sumama sa mga kapwa pinoy at ibang asians pero wag ka wala naman sila tropang puti at iniiwasan din sila ng mga puti dahil ende din sila magkaintindihan ng based on language, food, ways, likes etc basically culture clash. Naaawa ako sa kanila, pasosyal na tanga! Pango naman, maiitim, pandak at higit sa lahat ende magaling mag-english, ewan!

Usually ang rent dito sa Melbourne 300-380/week on average now kung wala ka talaga makuha dahil wala ka work, dahil kadalasan ng bagong dating rejected agad dahil walang work, ang gawin mo makipag-deal ka sa agent, sabihin mo you will pay 3 months in advance to assure them that you can pay, yung isang kilala ko 6 months ang binigay dahil walang makuha at maganda ang lugar so you need to bargain, again talk to the agent personally and let them know that you are a decent person.

11. Pinoy food: Better scout for the pinoy store closest to you, dyan mo makikita ang mga pagkain at sangkap na hanap mo. May mga libreng dyaryo ka pa makkukuha, meron din mga DVD pinoy movies, pero higit sa lahat baka may makilala ka din na magiging daan para magkaroon ka ng work or house/room for rent. Makipag-kwentuhan sa ibang pinoy, tyak may matututunan ka, wag ka masyado maarte na porket pinoy ende mo na kakausapin kse nsa OZ kana, tandaan mo asian looking ka pa din not unless nagpalit ka na ng balat tulad ni MJ, nagkulay ng buhok at nag-suot ng contact lenses.

12. Find Work: Ito na yata ang pinaka mahirap gawin sa OZ, lalo na sa mga professionals na ende nakaranas na maglinis ng sariling bahay. Kaya ko naman nasabi ito dahil halos lahat ng professionals na galing pinas na naging PR dito sa OZ eh dumaan sa odd jobs like, cleaning, factory worker, restaurant help, hospital orderly, driver etc... Pagkatapos nagkaroon sila ng "local" experience then saka sila nagaapply ng trabahong bagay sa kanilang course. Ask around, wag mahiya hingi ng tulong sa iba, magugutom ka at iyong pamilya pag nag-inarte ka pa.

Mag-submit ng CV/Resume sa lahat ng job search engine, at kung mag-aapply ka ng work wag mo isama ang nag VP or Manager ka ng company, tapos ang posisyon na aaplyan mo janitor or clerck eh tyak na ende ka nga matatanggap, ayusin mo ang CV mo para nman medyo katanggap tanggap ka sa papasukan mo.

Tapos kung mag-aaply ka, yung number na nakikita mo tawagan mo, tanungin mo kung pwede ka makuha ng interview, ilan ba ang kailangan nila sa posisyon, kelan nila kailangan, sabihin mo willing ka na mas mababa ang sahod dahil wala ka pa experience etc, be prepared cyempre may script ka din na handa habang nakikipag-usap, mas gusto ng mga advertisers yung taong totoong interesado, wag ka mag-apply lng using email at submit button, personal interaction is always better.

13 Go to Centrelink: Dahil kailangan mong kumain magtungo sa Centrelink office at doon mo malalaman kung ano ang mabibigay na sa iyong tulong lalo na pag wala kang work. Wag mo na asahan ang pagbabasa ng mga articles sa website nila, minsan sa dami ng binabasa mo ende mo maiintindihan lahat, better to talk to Centrelink representative and mag-kwento ka ng buhay mo, be prepared isulat mo ang mga tanong mo, pag naguusap kayo lalabas lahat ng mga options na pwede nila itulong, matino at mababait nman ang karamihan sa Centrelink. Be polite, magpakumbaba, ikaw remember ang nanghihingi ng tulong. May rental assistance, first starters allowance, childcare benefits, family tax benefits A, educational allowance, etc.. It is better explained to you personally.

Eto na muna, pag may naalala pa ako ida-dagdag ko na lang later, enjoy!!
(Kung may mali ako sorry, tao lang promise aayusin ko para masaya tayo lahat...